Am I the only one who’s noticed that music in general is heading back to the glam rock era? You know, the time when bands were more known for what they were wearing than for the music they played. Or, to be more precise, cared more about how the looked than how they sounded. Bands like Poison, Cinderella, Trixter, London, whoever were trying to “make it” by having the right look. But they all sounded like crap. Well, they all sounded like the same crap. Well, not a month goes by, not a month where I don’t open the new issue of Spin and they’re profiling some band who’s supposed to be new and hip and what all the pretentious bastards in England are listening to who I can’t help but laugh at because by their picture I can tell they’re trying too hard. And the article will have maybe a line or two about what they sound like and the rest will be about their “influences,” which is usually them name dropping some long dead band who seems hip. And usually, all these bands sound like the Strokes, who may be doing this same crap but they were kinda the first ones to do it, so they’re kind of off the hook. But they all look like clones, with the bad haircuts, the women’s pants, the suit jackets. What’s up with the suit jackets? These dorks look like John “Duckie” Cryer in Pretty in Pink. Just start rockin the derby with the gelled bangs and you’re there chief. But seriously, we’re back in another age of musical bullshit ruled by gimmicks that mean nothing on record. I’m sure these band’s A&R people have to send out all sorts of photos to prove how cool they are because if you just sent out a CD to the press, no one would really care. But look at these bands, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Interpol, The Hives, Hot Hot Heat, Kings of Leon, The Ravonettes, all these bands. Most of them (mainly the non-suit wearers) I just want to point at and shout, “You look ridiculous,” (like Alabama to James Gandolfini’s hit man character in True Romance when he was beating the crap out of her) because they look totally stupid. And some of these really “hip” bands are just straight rip-offs of bands that aren’t around anymore. Interpol are a Joy Division cover band. The Rapture be fakin’ da funk left from Gang of Four. What ever happened to originality? What happened to people just playing music? I mean, while “rockers” always had a little different style than the rest of society, the stuff I’m seeing now is the stuff that’ll be laughed at by future generations because it looks so damn stupid. So heed the words of Chuck D and “Don’t believe the hype.” And remember, if it looks like poo and smells like poo, it’s probably poo. Even if it has a bad haircut and a suit jacket. Oh, and friends don’t let friends wear mesh hats crooked. It’s fucking stupid.

Things that are Sweet

28 Days Later- we need more Dawn of the Dead remakes. Probably the best movie I’ve seen all year.

San Diego Comic Con- for all your GI Joe/Transformers needs

Alkaline Trio DVD- scrumdidlyumptious

Netflix-They have Xanadu

The Revolution Smile- Above the Noise- the fact that its so damn good helps you get past the fact that Fred Durst is their A&R guy

Thrice- The Artist in the Ambulance- Woah! (Pronounced in a Joey Lawrence voice)

National Lampoon’s Vacation; 20th anniversary DVD- "You think you hate it now, but wait until you drive it."