Has it really been two years? Well, it's been more like 5 since I really wrote on this thing with any sort of regularity, but hopefully that'll change soon. I bought an iPhone about a month and this very sentence is being plinked away horizontally with my thumbs from a Logan Square coffee shopee. This thing really is amazing. It pretty much tells me whatever I want to know whenever I demand it which makes me an even more powerful master of useless trivia. But it does really make life so much more simple. The GPS alllows me to never get lost again and tracts me on a display map way more effective than the Alien trackers James Cameron imagined back in the 80's. Actually, this lil' bastard could have possibly saved my relatationship had I had it two years ago. So many fights between my ex and I were over me getting us lost in our then new home of Chicago and then either wondering the streets or waiting for public transit in literally sub zero temperatures. Eh, but I'm sure even if I had been blessed with the omnicient power and ability to know where the hell all that one crazy carnitas place I'd read about in Pilsen (assuming AT&T sevices Pilsen) or the ability to see into he future and know when the hell the 66 bus was going to come around the corner and prove that I'm not a jerk for insistng we take a bus to go see The Wrestler down town in January, then who knows? Maybe we'd have a house and our first kid on the way. Or maybe the fact that we were at two different places in our lives and I wasn't emotionally mature enough to be in a relatationship would have become more prevelant, no matter what kind of gadget I owned and we would have drifted our seperate ways regardless. Unless I had a hoverboard. Those things will save us all. And on that note, here's Glenn Danzig's shopping list.
It's been 3 years since I did a top 10 list, so this year is as good as any to get back in the habit, or just start writing period. I actually did intend to do lists in '05 and '06 (.....Searching for a former clarity and The Bronx (II) would have been my number 1's respectivly) but better late then never. Hey, '07. The year just about everyone went digital information really became instant with portable internet and famous people's (and people who became famous because they told people they were)every moves were broadcast online or on TV every 30 seconds. It's like the future Orwell and Warhol predicted came true where everyone's every move is watched and everyone's famous for 15 minutes. So lets taste some Chocolate Rain and do this.
Top 10 Albums of 2007
10. Radiohead- In Rainbows For now this album is more about it's method than it's content, which is probably just as revolutionary; the peerless musical cool kids of the last 10 years emerge from a 4 year absence by announcing their new album will only be available online and you pay what ever you want for it, which includes the option of not paying anything. Was the idea here to put the Napster ideal into practice and show the music industry that the consumer will really pay for something they can get for free out of sure ethics or appriciation, or was the band just out to scorn the record label or even the entire music industry by not letting them have a piece of a rumored masterpiece the public had been waiting years to hear? We may never really know the answer or know what portion of the public decided to download and dash, but it's a great album simply on it's own musical merits. I wouldn't say it's revolutionary in that it sounds like more of what we've come to expect from the band who knocked the world on it's ass with OK Computer 10 years ago, but it's still probably a foreruner for musical quality in a landscape paved by ringtones and soundalikes.
9.Lily Allen- Alright, Still
As first sight, this seemed like just another Britney clone out to take on TRL, but when I actually heard the album it was closer to NWA meets the Specials. You've got this English child of priviledge who essentially got a record contract because her dad's famous and then takes her love on Jay-Z and English ska and puts out the poppiest example of shit talk I've heard since Screeching Weasel. Songs like "Smile" where she sings about how her cheating ex boyfriends pain and misfortune make her down right cheery or "LDN" where a town full of crack and ho's is her kind of London. Extra points for refering to law enforcement as the filth. That that Easy E.
8.Patton Oswalt- Werewolves and Lollipops Somebody told me this doesn't count, but I don't care it's my list. I've loved Patton's comedy since I don't even know when I started seeing him on Conan back in highschool and I've been listening to his last album on a regular basis since it came out in 2004 so this was definately a highlight of my year. So many of his jokes reference things that I grew up on, weither it's the hatred for the local movie critic in the small town you grow up in being oblivious to culture or how being so cynical can just remove you from reality. Oh and he voiced the rat in Ratatouille. How 'bout that.
7.M.I.A.- Kala M.I.A is just awesome. She samples the Clash and the Pixies, raps about 3rd world economies and has 12 year old aboriginal guest rappers droppin beats over digery doos. Mia really has started to bring parts of the world that most of western society is completely oblivious or ignorant to to hipster culture, that with any luck will open up the eyes of the rest of the world, or maybe even at least hip hip. Definately the most orginal and diverse album I've proably ever owned.
6.Gallows- Orchestra of Wolves
Everyone name drops Black Flag, At the Drive-In and Refused but no body really sound like them. I mean, really sounds like them. Gallows does. There's been a lot of Clockwork Orange refrences made towards them because of their overt Cockneyness, but it really does apply, and as the album starts, you can just picture a white sleeved, eyeball-linked cuff smacking you over the head with a sword cane and shoving you in a pond. Their music has almost an art to it's agression that I really haven't felt since the first time I heard any of the bands I just mentioned, and unlike where more hardcore it's more of the same toughness, this just feels so raw and real and I'm glad people are taking notice.
5.The Good, The Bad and The Queen
I think this was the first album I bought in '07 and I really dug it's chill, yet interesting nature. Paul Simonon's bass lines are unmistakenable and Damon Albarn's projects seem to get better and better. Dangermouse produced this record and I think that's a first for him as far as doing something not at all hip hop, and he really brings some good beats to the music that also give it that much of a groove feel that really made me enjoy it.
4. Every Time I Die- The Big Dirty
This basicly a stupid rock record written by smart guys that is beyond a guilty pleasure. It just kicks ass, but has a sense of humor to it that's been missing from a lot of punk music. ETID can't really be described as punk, metal or hardcore but some of all with some Southern Rock thrown in which gives it a winking, cock-rock appeal in that parts could be seen as chauvinism, but to be taken with a huge rock of salt. It's just awesome.
3. Kanye West- Graduation I've been kind of hit and miss with Kanye, but I did really like this album. Alot of the tracks (especially Stronger) contain a level of energy you can really feel and strikes you in a way most hip hop dosen't. As much shit he talks about being the greatest and being robed of awards given to others, he pretty much is as great as he says, not that that means he can get away with it, but I do feel he is one of the most talented people in music today. His beats aren't just nursery rhyme harmonies but have depth to them as well, using samples that sound like the come from Bond themes and give them an aura of grandness. Plus he raps about the Cosbys and Isotoner gloves, which as a kid raised by tv in the 80's makes me likey.
2. Against Me!- New Wave Hey, our boys made it to the majors, got Nirvana's producer to do their album and jumped from the Che Cafe scene to the Beauty Bar. How fucking dare they. I'd like to say I'm glad one our our (read; fat wreck era punk bands) is out there in the majors, but I don't think Tom Gabel would like to admit the asscioation to the pages of Vice or Spin any time soon. But, good for them. The album I didn't feel knocked me on my ass, at least not in the way thier last album did, but it's still pretty good none the less and has some of the best song writing in a long time and unlike so many bands in the past who've jumped to majors only to crash and burn, Against Me! definately have their best years ahead of them.
1. Lifetime-Lifetime This album is a prime speciment of what I love; pop punky hardcore. It's fun, it's fast, it's a little heavy, it's fucking Lifetime. I still can't get enough of this record. I don't what else to say except it's great.
Been in Chicago for about a month now. It's had it's ups and downs, and I still can't find a decent burrito but I just need to give things time to settle in. Anyway, here's some shit that's been on me mind. A few weeks at was in the Urban Outfitter in Wicker Park looking at home furnishings to decorate the naked walls of our apartment with when I stumbled upon some framed concert posters I thought looked cool. One of them happened to be for a Ramones show in 1980 and it featured a grainy picture of the band, that after looking at for about half a second made me realise that it was fake. The line up in the photo featured C.J. who replaced Dee Dee who quit in 1987, 7 years after this alleged concert was to have taken place. I don't know what pissed me off more, the fact that they were making fake poster to satisfy yuppie pseudo hipsters rock chic needs or the fact that who ever made the poster obviously didn't know that much about the band and figured any picture of 4 guys with long hair and leather jackets would do the job. I guess the Ramones are THE biggest victim of faux rocker shirt display (the wearing of a band shirt by some one who isn't a fan for fashion purposes) being that that have a classic logo and are probably the epitome of what rock and roll music really is; fast, simple, fun. I guess the trend really started the beginning of the 21st century when Johnny Knoxville began appearing on tv, wearing the Ramones and CBGB's shirts he'd probably been wearing for years while becoming a celebrity who was both nihilistic and cute which eventually was picked up by other celebrities and can now be purchased at Target. The thing that bothers me the most about the whole thing, besides the fact that the Ramones have probably sold more t shirts in the past 5 years that records during their 22 year career is the fact that their music is still mostly unknown to most Americans when it's some of the most fun, hooky and anthematic music ever and should be destined for greatness in our modern era of short attention spans where hits are written to be ring tones or commercials. America claims it wants Rock n Roll, well the Ramoes ARE Rock n Roll. Their songs are catchy as hell yet simple and even safe enough to play for your kids who you've bundled up into a CBGB's onesie. But you're more likely to hear Blitzkrieg Bop on a Verizon commercial than on the radio or coming from a soccer mom's SUV, and goddammit that's the irony that is modern, consumerist America. They don't want the best there is, they just want what the man has to offer and not matter how bad it really tastes they're eat it up and pay top dollar for more.
So Rage played, the camera phone video I saw on youtube was awesome and Britney Spears lipsyncing for 12 minutes while chewing gum and the people who paid $300 to see it became more culturally significant this week. Well, until about 4 days after Coachella when someone at a news network saw a clip of Rage on youtube and heard Zack voicing his opinion about our current presidential administration. It comes as a surprise to no one that he disagrees with it, but he makes the statement that not only the current presidential administraion but America's politicians are basically committing war crimes that according to the Geneva Convention would have those convicted of the things they're doing tried and executed for their crimes, and that the current administration should be no acception. While I feel his statement is somewhat extreme, the man has such power in his words and such conviction in his beliefs I can't help but get goosebumps as he says them. So several days after the fact, it becomes a news story and they boil down his statement down to one assumption; Zack De La Rocha wants to kill President Bush. How ignorant can people be when a man, who's platform may be rock music calls for people to stand up for their rights and calling for social justice is accused of plotting murder? He didn't say, "I hate George W. Bush, (I removed the following to avoid misunderstanding) ," he said "The Current Administration" deserves the consequences of its actions. People be ignant. But they also pay a months rent to see 12 minutes of Britney Spears.
Here's a clip of Rage. The Raging begins around 4:30
Here's a bunch of ignant morons fighting about it, not a one with a valid point.
So it's 2:36 am on Saturday morning and I'm up after working until 12:30 am drinking PBR and watching Rage Against The Machine clips on Youtube thinking about how amazing it would be to be in Indio this Sunday night as they take the stage for the first time in 7 years and hopefully marking the return of something that left a void in modern music ever since. Earlier in the evening while I was on my break the song "Wake Up" came on the shuffle of my ipod and as I walked around downtown San Diego it just hit me how fucking great that band was/is and if thieir reunion is more than a one off obligation how in dire need we actually are of thier return. The anger, the fury the power their music holds is something that can really only exist in something of days gone by or the type of band people refir to as something from a bygone era when things were better. Rage Against the Machine are a fucking amazing band. End of story. Well not really end of story, because as I watch music videos that educated the afterschool sect of a decade ago about issues like Wounded Knee or the econimics of third world nations I get a feeling for how serious this band was, but at the same time can't help but take it with a grain of salt. Thier videos parody Gap ads and plastic consumers but they were on a major label and 3/4ths of the band played in Audioslave who weren't political at all and reportedly made obscene amounts of money. I don't have a problem with either of those on thier own, but how do you go from a band who encourages destroying the government to another band who's singer obviously cared more about his tan than Darfur and not raise a couple of quesitons. Anyway, my point is this; as great as I think they are, the only reason they're back together is Coachella. Each year the people at Goldenvoice get together to throw a weekend concert where hipster cred bands play a polo field in the desert where water is $6 a bottle and tickets are $100 a day, and the only reason Rage are taking the stage on Sunday is because Goldenvoice paid them to do so because they needed a big headliner to get media attention. I wish there was a better reason for them to be back together, fighting real evil; world hunger, a presidential canidiate, Fall Out Boy. But nay, it's the allmighty dollar of the rich white male. As much as thier videos, thier lyrics and thier outspoken politics may say otherwise, they're back to entertain. And more power to them, and here's to hoping that all hell can't stop you now.
It's amazing how petty we really are at our basic core. We can really feel driven toward any type of cause, no matter how strongly we feel about it, but if one minor aspect of it is taken away, we can loose all interest in it in the blink of an eye. Case in point; not long after I moved to my current residence, a sign went up across the SavOn two blocks away from my house advertising that a WalGreens 24 hour pharmacy would soon be constructed on said grounds. This got me excited. Excited because until then, the SavOn was really the closest place to get anything, especially late at night and is located between me and the freeway, making it on the way home from work. Being that I often am stuck closing at my job, I don't get home until after midnight and being that I hate my job, returning home often calls amenities to help me cope with the fact that I'm wasting my life. However, SavOn at 12 am is something that resembles the 13th circle of Hades. The store is either patronized by people who are either depressed, on welfare, homeless or prostitutes, any pleasant "all is well" type elevator music is switched off to make the tension of the communal tension in the air that much more uncomfortable and the several cashers working at that hour are far more preoccupied with their own conversation about each others sex lives or hair styles than the customers who just want to get what they came for and get home. I hate going to SavOn late at night. Hate it so much, that if I really want something on the way home from closing, that I'll some time take completely different routes home in order to go to a Vons or a 7-11 where I know I can be in and out as quickly as I need to. Probably the climax of my frustration with SavOn came the night I had worked a shift at each of my jobs that day but was going to the Warped Tour the next morning so I needed to stock up on water and sunscreen and then just get to bed to get as much rest as I could so I could have the energy for walking around a parking lot in Chula Vista for 10 hours in July. So I wait in line for forever, sandwiched between a smelly drug addict wanting Lotto tickets and an overweight young Mexican couple in sweats with a screaming baby just itching to get what I need and get out. So finally my turn comes, and as I put my items on the counter the cashier turns her back to me to engage in a "girl, you know your man a dog," conversation. Now, I can understand a couple of comments between coworkers and then back to the customer or maybe continuing on with the conversation about possible promiscuity's while continuing on with one's assigned duty of ringing my shit up, taking my money and letting me go home. But this woman continued on gabbing on and on for a good 90 seconds while I just waited helplessly in hell for her to scan my things. She finally turned around and gave me a "how you doin'" to which I honestly wanted to reply with, "Terrible you stupid beyoch!" But I just let out an "'eh" and she went about scanning. Then with one item left half on the treadmill and half on the scanner, her friend in the photo asks a question and she just walks away, leaving me with 90% of my purchase run up and 100% of me pissed off. Eventually she came back and I go home, but I haven't been back at night since. So the construction of WalGreens has continued literally across the street from SavOn and I saw it as a sign of hope. Hope for a place I can shop it late at night and be in and out. A place where the employees fucking care about their jobs and give a shit about the customers and a place where the lighting fixtures aren't being held together with duct tape or flutter off an on or inducing epilepsy. A place to turn to for solace after a long day of taking care of retard employees and answering to angry customers. I've mentioned this dream to my girlfriend pretty much every time we drive by there and she continues to shoot it down by pondering why I think it will be that much better than SavOn and the answer is truly simple; it's new. New places are nicer than old places and new people want to do good jobs and new people care, so therefore because it's new it'll be nice. She'll continue to snicker and I'll continue to dream. Anyway, I've been dreaming of such a place for months, and this morning I finally encountered the dream as WalGreens opened it's doors at 8am. I went to run some errands this morning and was heading back around 12:30 when I decided to finally check out our local nirvana for myself by getting a six pack of whatever imports on sale. As the spotless automatic doors magically slid open, I knew I was right. Every employee greeted my un showered and unshaven ass with a joyful, "how's it going, welcome to our store." All the magazines were in order and crisp. The floors were spotless and the place smelled nice. I was home. That was until I headed for the cooler and realized they don't sell alcohol at all and the dream was crumbled. I then realized that since the place didn't sell beer at all, then I had no real reason to shop there. So I promptly left and have no plans to go back. So I was right about the part that since it's new it's nice, but since I can't get beer there at midnight or any time ever, then I don't really care and I may end up going to SavOn again. Except it's not SavOn anymore, it's CVS but all the same people work there and they just rearranged the fixtures and they still have the same dirty floors and shoddy lighting. But maybe now they'll try harder with the competition across the way, but probably not because they have the alcohol which means they have the power. Se le vie.
Honestly. Do they think they taste good, because they don't. Case in point; six and a half years ago when Uncle Sam said I was old enough drink legal, I flew home from school for a weekend for one reason and one reason only: so my friend Tim Lowery could take me out drinking. I should probably add that I was attending PLNU at the time (former home of the Crusaders, current home a mascot that has a Lion's head and flippers they call the Sealion) who felt that the Bible made it clear that while Jesus' first miracle had been to create booze to keep a party a flowin, those who actually tasted Hosana's creation were sinners for doing so and currently reside in the 8th circle of Hadies. Translation; the overzealous Bible school I went to wouldn't let us college students drink, and if we did we'd get kicked out. Anyway, I flew home and Timmy took me both of Salem, Oregon's fine drinking establishments, the Brick and the Ram. This was the first time I'd actually been to a bar so he ordered me a Long Island Ice Tea and himself the Bloody Mary. He gave me a sip and I encountered flavors that had to have been created on a dare; tomato soup over ice with some vodka in it. Why would anyone WANT to drink that? Maybe hot with some grilled cheese, but out on the town on a Friday night, ready to tear up both the Beaver State's Capitol's bars?
This mystery perplexed me for years until this afternoon when my beautiful girlfriend said she like to spend the afternoon sipping cocktails on the front porch, so we went to BevMo. After scanning the variety of dandy drinks, we decided the one we'd like to sip would be the afoul Bloody Mary. At first I was hesitant, but then I remembered the drink's history as the worlds' most popular breakfast boose. Hadn't Dr. Gonzo sipped a tall red one with a leafy green celery stalk peering out while fuckin shit up at 8 am? And hadn't any other great literary drunk sipped from it's culdron of awesome because simply, it was boose Goddammit and it got you drunk first thing in the morning!? Plus, the brand of mix we found had too cool lookin old dudes on it and it's second ingrediant was Horseradish. This had to be the elixer of Men I tell you, so I decided to give it another shot.
Well needless to say, I feel like vomiting right now, and my offical stance is that tomato soup is not a beverage to be sipped cold. Sure hot on a rainy day it and some dry close may be the Lord's cure to a runny nose, but it's not intended to be enjoyed cold through a straw on a hot day. No my friend, those are the necessiary ingrediants to an angry stomach that may erupt at any moment, so take heed and stay away I tell you. Even at 8 am, a Heinkin is the more sound decision.
