Has it really been two years? Well, it's been more like 5 since I really wrote on this thing with any sort of regularity, but hopefully that'll change soon. I bought an iPhone about a month and this very sentence is being plinked away horizontally with my thumbs from a Logan Square coffee shopee. This thing really is amazing. It pretty much tells me whatever I want to know whenever I demand it which makes me an even more powerful master of useless trivia. But it does really make life so much more simple. The GPS alllows me to never get lost again and tracts me on a display map way more effective than the Alien trackers James Cameron imagined back in the 80's. Actually, this lil' bastard could have possibly saved my relatationship had I had it two years ago. So many fights between my ex and I were over me getting us lost in our then new home of Chicago and then either wondering the streets or waiting for public transit in literally sub zero temperatures. Eh, but I'm sure even if I had been blessed with the omnicient power and ability to know where the hell all that one crazy carnitas place I'd read about in Pilsen (assuming AT&T sevices Pilsen) or the ability to see into he future and know when the hell the 66 bus was going to come around the corner and prove that I'm not a jerk for insistng we take a bus to go see The Wrestler down town in January, then who knows? Maybe we'd have a house and our first kid on the way. Or maybe the fact that we were at two different places in our lives and I wasn't emotionally mature enough to be in a relatationship would have become more prevelant, no matter what kind of gadget I owned and we would have drifted our seperate ways regardless. Unless I had a hoverboard. Those things will save us all.
And on that note, here's Glenn Danzig's shopping list.


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