That’s right bitches! I’m back, and like Flava Flav wearing an alarm clock of himself around his neck I’m back to show y’all what time it is. During my hiatus, mediocrity has continued to reign over our youth and society and it became so obvious that I figured my own analysis of it would be simply redundant. But I have come to realize that the blinders have been fixed on the consumer masses and like my own Bat-Signal©, they’ve called me back into action. That and Danny Montoya and Dominic Resig asked me to. So here goes.
So this summer, much like most summers was spent on the couch in front of the TV. Yes, that magical window into the world kept me warm, away from reality and informed that PEOPLE ARE STUPID! It seems like ever summer is ruled by a specific celebrity whose “talents” are dubious and whose popularity is mainly based on the fact that the pop-cultures gods put them in our faces 24-fuckin’-7. While this summer failed to deliver a stand out Warped Tour (Yellowcard? Story of the Year? The crazy gril from Natural Born Killers?) or another Indiana Jones movie, it did however deliver our medio-lebrity in the form of Ashlee Simpson. That’s right, the younger, dumber and more naive than a newborn sheep sister of America’s bimbo, Jessica Simpson, some how got her own show, platinum album and breath mint commercials, all based on the fact that her sister has all those things.
Now I could care less what the cretins who the public school system are churning out are deciding to waste their time and money on, but when the Viacom company decides to tell the kids via their spiked plunger known as MTV that dying your hair black and saying “fuck” instead of “totally” is punk rock, then I start to take offense. Supposedly because of the latter and the fact that she has a bunch of fat, Simple Plan rejects playing her songs instead of a DAT machine playing her songs, she’s got something in common with GG Allen and Darby Crash. I however beg to differ, but my opinions does nothing more than make my Internet savvy friends chuckle.
But it’s shit like this that’s really fucking up what was once the refuse for us smart yet less than popular underachievers. While “punk” was once the dangerous, the ugly, the rebellious, none of these attributes are found in Ashlee Simpson. Yesterday I saw a photo of her wearing a Sex Pistols shirt. Does that mean her former Baptist minister father/manager/pimp is going to let her live out the legacy of her influences by making a video where she shoots up toilet water, carves “I need a fix” into her bare chest and then stabs her loud mouth significant other to death over the last hit of smack? Well, she does have one thing in common with Sid Vicious. Her talents are all image and she has no musical capability. And she just stands up on stage while a bunch of musicians do all the work behind the scenes (i.e. Sid never played bass so someone back stage did it). Ashlee, maybe you should stay out of the Hot Topic and should stick to what your sister does best; promote abstinence until marriage by giving most of the dudes in America huge boners and sticking to playing State Fairs.
Things I like
- Rise Against; Siren Song of the Counter Culture
-Sledge Hammer; The Complete 1st Season DVD
-Murder City Devils; R.I.P.
-N.W.A.; Greatest Hits
-Keepin it real
part 2 of this rant coming very soon
So this summer, much like most summers was spent on the couch in front of the TV. Yes, that magical window into the world kept me warm, away from reality and informed that PEOPLE ARE STUPID! It seems like ever summer is ruled by a specific celebrity whose “talents” are dubious and whose popularity is mainly based on the fact that the pop-cultures gods put them in our faces 24-fuckin’-7. While this summer failed to deliver a stand out Warped Tour (Yellowcard? Story of the Year? The crazy gril from Natural Born Killers?) or another Indiana Jones movie, it did however deliver our medio-lebrity in the form of Ashlee Simpson. That’s right, the younger, dumber and more naive than a newborn sheep sister of America’s bimbo, Jessica Simpson, some how got her own show, platinum album and breath mint commercials, all based on the fact that her sister has all those things.
Now I could care less what the cretins who the public school system are churning out are deciding to waste their time and money on, but when the Viacom company decides to tell the kids via their spiked plunger known as MTV that dying your hair black and saying “fuck” instead of “totally” is punk rock, then I start to take offense. Supposedly because of the latter and the fact that she has a bunch of fat, Simple Plan rejects playing her songs instead of a DAT machine playing her songs, she’s got something in common with GG Allen and Darby Crash. I however beg to differ, but my opinions does nothing more than make my Internet savvy friends chuckle.
But it’s shit like this that’s really fucking up what was once the refuse for us smart yet less than popular underachievers. While “punk” was once the dangerous, the ugly, the rebellious, none of these attributes are found in Ashlee Simpson. Yesterday I saw a photo of her wearing a Sex Pistols shirt. Does that mean her former Baptist minister father/manager/pimp is going to let her live out the legacy of her influences by making a video where she shoots up toilet water, carves “I need a fix” into her bare chest and then stabs her loud mouth significant other to death over the last hit of smack? Well, she does have one thing in common with Sid Vicious. Her talents are all image and she has no musical capability. And she just stands up on stage while a bunch of musicians do all the work behind the scenes (i.e. Sid never played bass so someone back stage did it). Ashlee, maybe you should stay out of the Hot Topic and should stick to what your sister does best; promote abstinence until marriage by giving most of the dudes in America huge boners and sticking to playing State Fairs.
Things I like
- Rise Against; Siren Song of the Counter Culture
-Sledge Hammer; The Complete 1st Season DVD
-Murder City Devils; R.I.P.
-N.W.A.; Greatest Hits
-Keepin it real
part 2 of this rant coming very soon
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