12/07/2003

Being that I haven't updated in a while and that I just realized that I don't need some mad epiphany to strike my brain like a light bulb over my head to post an update, I decided to take a queue form Jabez Kemble and just post what I’ve been up to.
Went to Oregon for Thanksgiving. Had to fly to Seattle and then take a commuter flight down to Portland so the flight was twice as long as a direct one from San Diego to PDX. Being that my Discman “disappeared” during Dogwood’s “ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT 2003!” tour last spring, I was stuck with actually having to read the book I’d borrowed from work and hadn’t really gotten around to reading. So for the first time in my life, I was able to read an entire 200+ page novel from cover to cover in one day. A big shout out to Portland writer and creator of Tyler Durden Chuck Palahniuk for keepin’ em short and sweet. Anyway, Oregon was cold, rainy and bleak. Just as I remembered it. This was the first year that the house I lived in for the better part of 24 years of my life hasn’t belonged to my family so my brother, his girlfriend Sara and myself ate two Thanksgiving dinners, one with each parent. I’ll spare the details and just repeat the quote of the year, said by my Mom to God during the Thanksgiving meal at her house that was attended by 10 people, not all of them family. “Dear Lord, we thank you today that Noah’s not in prison……” Subtle pleasantness has never been one of her strengths.
One thing I’d forgotten about Oregon that I keep noticing more and more on return trips is how white trash the state is. Everyone’s pear shaped and demands to be first in line everywhere. I went with my friend Bill to Walmart in Woodburn because it was the only place open on Thanksgiving and he wanted to buy a DVD. Good Lord is that place filled with retarded people. Not actual retarded people, but ass backwards people who wear stirrup stretch pants and think the Ronco sandwich maker is the greatest invention of modern times. Oh, and cell phones don’t work there. The day after thanksgiving was worse because they have those 6am- Noon sales that everyone demands to go to so they can buy thousands of dollars of crap to please their fat children who just play X-Box all day while listening to Limp Bizkit and eating Hot Pockets. I tried to go to Best Buy to grab 28 Days Later for way cheaper than anywhere else. I got yelled at by some fat ladies who were too busy arguing with some clerk about some stupid shit like why they can’t take stuff out of the box in the store or something dumb and so I thought the line ended where their giant gap was, but they made sure that I knew that the line was behind them, despite the fact that I had one item to buy and they had 30. See, that’s another thing about Oregon that’s starting to bum me out. Twice I’ve been at the grocery store here in SD and had only one item to buy and the people with full carts ahead of me offered to let me go first. People don’t do that in Oregon. They’re like babies who snatch a toy and yell, “MINE!” Another case of this is when my Dad and I went to see The Missing (which sucks scrotem by the way) and we didn’t see the long line to get in so we just walked into the theater and people started getting all pissed at us. Then people started fighting about who was actually at the front of the line. And all this fighting for a shitty movie.
But some rad stuff happened while I was up there. My friend Bill’s Mom felt bad that I didn’t have any way to get around and their family have more cars than people at their place so she let me drive their van around. I did get to see my friends Bill, Tim and Tony who I hadn’t see in almost a year and I got to see Tim’s daughter who was born in July. Oh, and Matt Skiba of the Alkaline Trio, who is the coolest person on the face of the Earth was nice enough to get me into their Portland show for free and give my friends and I back stage passes, all because I’m a fan. He also gave me a shout out from stage my changing the subject of “My Friend Peter” to “My Friend Mogan.” I was so blown away at how cool that was I couldn’t stop grinning for hours. I can’t say enough things about what a generally nice person he is. And it’s also really cool that someone who writes lyrics as complex and metaphorical as his uses the word “sweet” a lot.
Anyway, there’s the gist of the last couple weeks. Well, more like just last week. Since I posted last, I also went and saw The Network play in Hollywood (where I met Skiba) and also saw Alkaline play here in SD. I saw the Suicide Machines play one of the best shows ever on Friday, the same night that some moron who was trying to be cool and circle pit threw me down and I really messed up my knee and have been spending my weekend as a gimp and might have to go to the hospital tommorow. But the show was still really rad. Oh, and despite Lisa Kemble’s advice. I’m attempting to grow a beard during the month of December. It’s a personal tradition, which I refer to as the Christmas beard. Traditions are sweet.

Things That Are Awesome
The Network- The Key Club in Hollwood, 11/22/03; Secret identities are cool
Matt Skiba- Not many people can pull off the aqua Cons with a suit……
The Ben Stiller Show DVD- it’s been 11 year and it’s been worth it
The Vandals- Oi! To the World; another tradition that’s sweet
Getting M2 starting tomorrow- another step closer to fullness
RUN DMC- Ultimate Hits; I call them Sire
Arrested Development and The Tracy Morgan Show- TV worth watching
Minor Threat DVD- To believe how young these kids were when they started a revolution

Things That Suck
Hurting your knee-not the "hot cheerleaders feeding you grapes" kinda weekend athleets make it out to be
People who push people over at concerts who are just trying to watch the band-'dats a paddlein'
Divorce-overrated
The People at Walmart in Oregon-shameful
Crazy people who just come hang out in Borders and waste my time but never buy anything-if only they'd just hang out at the library